My last blog post went up just under 5 months ago and as I mentioned yesterday, those 5 months have been filled with some high-highs and some low-lows. At the time of my last post I was at the apex of what I thought my next steps would be. I had grandiose visions of leaving the full time corporate job that seemed to be crushing my soul and covering the bills through some get rich quick scheme with a really convincing sales letter.
When reality set in, I realized that it would take more than an idea and a heartful of enthusiasm to bridge the gap between secure employment and steady pay to self employment and changing the world. The realization that I couldn’t just will the change into being (as crazy as that notion was to being with) crushed me and my short lived manic high came to a screeching halt. To top it off, things were especially stressful and complicated at the aforementioned corporate job. I was more desperate to leave and consequently felt more trapped than ever.
Everything stopped. I stopped dreaming and scheming. I stopped being mindful. I stopped being grateful. I stopped being hopeful and I stopped believing that things would ever really get better. Sure, I had been doing really, REALLY well for a few weeks, but it felt like a lie I had been telling myself. It didn’t seem real.
All the work I had done learning to trust and believe in myself was crumbling, but I couldn’t figure out how I had gone from feeling so great to feeling so bad. After about 7 weeks of hardcore business travel, meetings, early mornings and late nights, I realized that I had been neglecting all of those little things. When everything got too complicated, self care and small recovery actions were the first thing to get cut.
So it finally dawned on me. A few very small, very deliberate actions had been helping me more than all the grand plans and all the hard fought efforts. Next time I’ll tell you about some of those little things that have helped me get back out of that hole. In the meantime, believe me when I tell you that small, consistent actions can be a big hero.