I don’t know how, or where the knowledge came from, but I’ve always recognized bulimia and anorexia as eating disorders.  An actual illness that calls for a doctor.  Treatment.  Help.  I knew an anorexic kid in elementary school (his parents had gotten a divorce and this is how he was coping with it), read a book about it in middle school, did a research project on the subject in jr high.  I understood that it was not a choice.

Meanwhile, I had no idea that my own disordered, out of control eating, was not just lack of willpower.  It wasn’t that I just hadn’t found the right diet yet.  It took me 25 years from my first calorie counting diet in elementary school to learn that it’s not about the food.  It was never. about. the food.  And just like the anorexics and bulimics of the world, I am suffering from an eating disorder.  And just in time for this personal revelation, Binge Eating Disorder (BED) became an official diagnosis in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Health” and I don’t have to lie, cheat and steal, to get my insurance to pay for treatment.

The primary purpose of this blog is to help me work through the process of recovery, and maybe pick up some support along the way.  I also want to spread awareness and acceptance of compulsive overeating and binge eating disorder.  Hopefully some day, people like me, who suffer from this disorder will not have to be ashamed, because they feel it is a personal failure.  It’s time to challenge the 2 billion dollar a year diet industry and stop believing that millions of Americans simply don’t have the willpower!  And just maybe my story will be an inspiration to someone else who has been struggling and, like me, is desperate to get better, if only we can figure out how.


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