All or Nothing

Hey World.  It’s been a while.  I’ve missed you.

One of the central themes that I need to conquer in order to recover is “black and white thinking.”  I need to let go of the belief that there are only two ways to do something.  Perfectly, or not at all.  This is also the reason I haven’t posted anything in a while.  I’ve had a lot of big feelings/situations/issues and I have a lot of half written posts about them, but because I feel so strongly that things have to be finished and perfect and it’s not possible for them to be finished and perfect until the feelings are resolved, I have not been able to post them.

I had “treatment team” last week.  This is a check in every six weeks with all the counselors and clinicians and people who work with your insurance company to procure additional approvals for more time.  And when I explained that I didn’t always have time to write through all the things I’m thinking and feeling, she said it might be a good exercise for me to just write down how I am feeling and what I am thinking about without working all the way through it.  So that’s what I’m doing.  I have much more to say about “all or nothing/black and white thinking,” but if I don’t post this until I have reached the ALL end of the spectrum, you might not hear from me in a much longer time.

And so, I leave you with this:

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