Hey World. It’s been a while. I’ve missed you.
One of the central themes that I need to conquer in order to recover is “black and white thinking.” I need to let go of the belief that there are only two ways to do something. Perfectly, or not at all. This is also the reason I haven’t posted anything in a while. I’ve had a lot of big feelings/situations/issues and I have a lot of half written posts about them, but because I feel so strongly that things have to be finished and perfect and it’s not possible for them to be finished and perfect until the feelings are resolved, I have not been able to post them.
I had “treatment team” last week. This is a check in every six weeks with all the counselors and clinicians and people who work with your insurance company to procure additional approvals for more time. And when I explained that I didn’t always have time to write through all the things I’m thinking and feeling, she said it might be a good exercise for me to just write down how I am feeling and what I am thinking about without working all the way through it. So that’s what I’m doing. I have much more to say about “all or nothing/black and white thinking,” but if I don’t post this until I have reached the ALL end of the spectrum, you might not hear from me in a much longer time.
And so, I leave you with this: